From alibis to enemas, we’re combing the country for a community that doesn’t feel like we fell into an even more dysfunctional and less sexy Wisteria Lane.
haha - this is funny because it's true. We are also in the "where do we live next-new house dreaming" phase of life.
Our ideal solution is to live in a place where everyone has an acre of land. That way, we can have neighbors without them being literally right next door.
Consider The Villages in Florida. My father and brother both loved it. In some ways it is a bit Disneyish with the theme to each section, but they made lasting friendships and were never at a loss for things to do or people to do it with. Safe, stores are convenient, and the ability to get around on golf carts saves a lot on gas and auto expenses.
It now covers parts of 3 counties. Dad lived in the original portion, off of US 441. My brother and his wife bought in the northern most section, but close to stores, golf course, and a walking trail. We have friends living in the newest section, and they enjoy it. My wife and I aren’t so inclined, at least yet. We love our mountain and private location.
We are in the middle of a move too— across country— to be closer to our kids. The prices in the Boston area have exploded. Depressing. Some of the photos are hilarious. People’s laundry on beds, and oh that must be a fridge under all those magnets.
You're reminding me of a piece from a Jenny Lawson book, where she wanted to send a form letter to all her new neighbors letting them know they were welcome to come over if they were escaping from a fire or gas leak but to otherwise please pretend she is invisible. (Her husband told her that would make her look like a psychopath. She counter-argued that a psychopath wouldn't think to communicate with the whole neighborhood.)
As you should be! Check crime stats, pedo locations, daytime and nighttime drive by’s. Talk to people…Or just move to our neighborhood! It’s what you’re looking for 😉
haha - this is funny because it's true. We are also in the "where do we live next-new house dreaming" phase of life.
Our ideal solution is to live in a place where everyone has an acre of land. That way, we can have neighbors without them being literally right next door.
Love that plan!!
Shane Gillis
Fenced Yard
Foyer
No barking
Multiple toilets (team sh*t)
Porch
Impartial to enemas haha
No neighbours would be ideal
Lakefront or close by
Woodstove would be nice
Home is wherever you are, and there’s no place like home 😔
Love that list!
Good luck finding your place! I can't even with the enema request..... That's too much.
🤣🤣🤣
I'm looking for a mid-size cave
Third cave on the right! 😂😂😂
“…and straight on till morning!
Remember, if you move in and you have no crazy neighbors… then you’re the crazy neighbors.
This is valid. 🤣🤣🤣
On the bright side, at least you didn’t live through the neighbors who dragged you into a multi-state enema.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Wasn’t that a horror movie? I remember not going to see it.
Consider The Villages in Florida. My father and brother both loved it. In some ways it is a bit Disneyish with the theme to each section, but they made lasting friendships and were never at a loss for things to do or people to do it with. Safe, stores are convenient, and the ability to get around on golf carts saves a lot on gas and auto expenses.
Glad they loved it. I’ve heard it’s enormous
It now covers parts of 3 counties. Dad lived in the original portion, off of US 441. My brother and his wife bought in the northern most section, but close to stores, golf course, and a walking trail. We have friends living in the newest section, and they enjoy it. My wife and I aren’t so inclined, at least yet. We love our mountain and private location.
Yeah, I’m with you!
The answer is actually really simple: buy a boat and live aboard it.
-Less than quality neighbors? Haul anchor and move to another marina.
-Nasty neighbor dogs? Gaff them and feed them to the sharks.
-Your plumbing or septic system will never need work, iykwimaityd.
-Hardly any dust and the entire thing can be clean in minutes.
-No gutters to clog, no lawn to mow, no tree branches to fall on your garage. Also, no gophers.
-If a little weather rolls in, you will be gently rocked to sleep and lulled by the sweet tinkling of the rigging on neighboring boats.
-You truly become captain of your destiny.
-It’s well established maritime law that all shoes must be removed before entering your cabin.
-The kids acting up and causing trouble? Keel haul them once and you’ll never again have trouble with them.
-You get to choose who among your guests get Dramamine and who doesn’t.
-Your husband can never again use the excuse for going fishing as a way to buy fishing tackle by the fifth, the 6 pack, or the keg.
Finally, you will finally have an actual lifestyle.
The answer is actually really simple: buy a boat and live aboard it.
Less than quality neighbors? Haul anchor and move to another marina.
Nasty dogs? Gaff them and feed them to the sharks.
Your plumbing or septic system will never need work, iykwimaityd.
Hardly any dust and the entire thing can be clean in minutes.
No gutters to clog, no lawn to mow, no tree branches to fall on your garage. Also, no gophers.
If a little weather rolls in, you will be gently rocked to sleep and lulled by the sweet tinkling of the rigging on neighboring boats.
You truly become captain of your destiny.
It’s well established maritime law that shoes must be removed before entering your cabin.
The kids acting up and causing trouble? Keel haul them once and you’ll never again have trouble with them.
You get to choose who among your guests get Dramamine and who doesn’t.
Your husband can never again use the excuse for going fishing to as a way to buy fishing tackle by the fifth, the 6 pack, or the keg.
You will finally have an actual lifestyle.
You make some solid points!
Also, no more rakes or snow shovels.
I think I might need a whole post about the enema neighbor...
I might have to supply one.
When I was a new mom looking for mommy friends, my go-to question was: If you had to date a Wiggle-I said had to-which one would you date and why?
Anthony! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
We are in the middle of a move too— across country— to be closer to our kids. The prices in the Boston area have exploded. Depressing. Some of the photos are hilarious. People’s laundry on beds, and oh that must be a fridge under all those magnets.
You're reminding me of a piece from a Jenny Lawson book, where she wanted to send a form letter to all her new neighbors letting them know they were welcome to come over if they were escaping from a fire or gas leak but to otherwise please pretend she is invisible. (Her husband told her that would make her look like a psychopath. She counter-argued that a psychopath wouldn't think to communicate with the whole neighborhood.)
Omg. I wish Jenny was in my neighborhood! Minus all the taxidermy.
I would totally do that.
As you should be! Check crime stats, pedo locations, daytime and nighttime drive by’s. Talk to people…Or just move to our neighborhood! It’s what you’re looking for 😉
We faced all that you fear about moving
From central Austin to a rural bedroom community in an unincorporated area.
We built just what we wanted , house wise
Some neighbors are great , some not.
Good luck.
Austin has now blown out past us, traffic , sprawl , cars .
It only took 9 years to realize we should have moved farther .
We lived in Austin 45 years.
,
I'm from NJ and am trying to figure out which town -- or at least which county -- you live in!