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Melissa Thomas's avatar

haha - this is funny because it's true. We are also in the "where do we live next-new house dreaming" phase of life.

Our ideal solution is to live in a place where everyone has an acre of land. That way, we can have neighbors without them being literally right next door.

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

Love that plan!!

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AnonymousSunflower ☀️'s avatar

Shane Gillis

Fenced Yard

Foyer

No barking

Multiple toilets (team sh*t)

Porch

Impartial to enemas haha

No neighbours would be ideal

Lakefront or close by

Woodstove would be nice

Home is wherever you are, and there’s no place like home 😔

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

Love that list!

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Allison Hiltz's avatar

Good luck finding your place! I can't even with the enema request..... That's too much.

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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John Horwitz's avatar

I'm looking for a mid-size cave

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

Third cave on the right! 😂😂😂

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John Horwitz's avatar

“…and straight on till morning!

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Mark R. Hunter's avatar

Remember, if you move in and you have no crazy neighbors… then you’re the crazy neighbors.

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

This is valid. 🤣🤣🤣

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Chris Stanton's avatar

On the bright side, at least you didn’t live through the neighbors who dragged you into a multi-state enema.

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Mark R. Hunter's avatar

Wasn’t that a horror movie? I remember not going to see it.

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Daniel Gmyrek's avatar

Consider The Villages in Florida. My father and brother both loved it. In some ways it is a bit Disneyish with the theme to each section, but they made lasting friendships and were never at a loss for things to do or people to do it with. Safe, stores are convenient, and the ability to get around on golf carts saves a lot on gas and auto expenses.

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

Glad they loved it. I’ve heard it’s enormous

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Daniel Gmyrek's avatar

It now covers parts of 3 counties. Dad lived in the original portion, off of US 441. My brother and his wife bought in the northern most section, but close to stores, golf course, and a walking trail. We have friends living in the newest section, and they enjoy it. My wife and I aren’t so inclined, at least yet. We love our mountain and private location.

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

Yeah, I’m with you!

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Switter’s World's avatar

The answer is actually really simple: buy a boat and live aboard it.

-Less than quality neighbors? Haul anchor and move to another marina.

-Nasty neighbor dogs? Gaff them and feed them to the sharks.

-Your plumbing or septic system will never need work, iykwimaityd.

-Hardly any dust and the entire thing can be clean in minutes.

-No gutters to clog, no lawn to mow, no tree branches to fall on your garage. Also, no gophers.

-If a little weather rolls in, you will be gently rocked to sleep and lulled by the sweet tinkling of the rigging on neighboring boats.

-You truly become captain of your destiny.

-It’s well established maritime law that all shoes must be removed before entering your cabin.

-The kids acting up and causing trouble? Keel haul them once and you’ll never again have trouble with them.

-You get to choose who among your guests get Dramamine and who doesn’t.

-Your husband can never again use the excuse for going fishing as a way to buy fishing tackle by the fifth, the 6 pack, or the keg.

Finally, you will finally have an actual lifestyle.

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Switter’s World's avatar

The answer is actually really simple: buy a boat and live aboard it.

Less than quality neighbors? Haul anchor and move to another marina.

Nasty dogs? Gaff them and feed them to the sharks.

Your plumbing or septic system will never need work, iykwimaityd.

Hardly any dust and the entire thing can be clean in minutes.

No gutters to clog, no lawn to mow, no tree branches to fall on your garage. Also, no gophers.

If a little weather rolls in, you will be gently rocked to sleep and lulled by the sweet tinkling of the rigging on neighboring boats.

You truly become captain of your destiny.

It’s well established maritime law that shoes must be removed before entering your cabin.

The kids acting up and causing trouble? Keel haul them once and you’ll never again have trouble with them.

You get to choose who among your guests get Dramamine and who doesn’t.

Your husband can never again use the excuse for going fishing to as a way to buy fishing tackle by the fifth, the 6 pack, or the keg.

You will finally have an actual lifestyle.

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

You make some solid points!

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Switter’s World's avatar

Also, no more rakes or snow shovels.

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Leslie Senevey's avatar

I think I might need a whole post about the enema neighbor...

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

I might have to supply one.

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Heather Munro's avatar

When I was a new mom looking for mommy friends, my go-to question was: If you had to date a Wiggle-I said had to-which one would you date and why?

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

Anthony! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

We are in the middle of a move too— across country— to be closer to our kids. The prices in the Boston area have exploded. Depressing. Some of the photos are hilarious. People’s laundry on beds, and oh that must be a fridge under all those magnets.

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Zach Hively's avatar

You're reminding me of a piece from a Jenny Lawson book, where she wanted to send a form letter to all her new neighbors letting them know they were welcome to come over if they were escaping from a fire or gas leak but to otherwise please pretend she is invisible. (Her husband told her that would make her look like a psychopath. She counter-argued that a psychopath wouldn't think to communicate with the whole neighborhood.)

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

Omg. I wish Jenny was in my neighborhood! Minus all the taxidermy.

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

I would totally do that.

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Frank Baron's avatar

As you should be! Check crime stats, pedo locations, daytime and nighttime drive by’s. Talk to people…Or just move to our neighborhood! It’s what you’re looking for 😉

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Don Mohler's avatar

We faced all that you fear about moving

From central Austin to a rural bedroom community in an unincorporated area.

We built just what we wanted , house wise

Some neighbors are great , some not.

Good luck.

Austin has now blown out past us, traffic , sprawl , cars .

It only took 9 years to realize we should have moved farther .

We lived in Austin 45 years.

,

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Jennifer Haubrich's avatar

I'm from NJ and am trying to figure out which town -- or at least which county -- you live in!

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